The worst day at work
I know that a lot of ppl have bad days at work. Just a few weeks ago I had a reaction completely lost to a faulty roundbottom and an overly ambitious stirbar, and I thought how terrrible and was pissed at myself for days. Maybe you had your boss reem you out for missing a dead line, maybe you bothced that call. That all pails in comparison to yesterday.
It played out like a horror film. At 9:30am I get this email.
“All AVR meeting 1pm”
First thing I do is tell my boss, who doesnt regularly check her email so that she can plan out her day. We disscuss that “hmmm, meeting in 3 hrs, wonder what it could be”. In our minds maybe a change in reporting structure, maybe some news on the series we are working on or something else relatively heavy but not life changing. SIlly me, I go spelunking. I walk down the hall and talk to my good friend Todd, see if there is anything going on his project that may constitute this meeting. He hits me with “Dave’s been let go”, and it starts. Much like 28 days later, you start to think “Well it’s one person its an isolated case”. Todd and I talk for a bit, we discuss that this sucks and that we wonder who else, but only lightly.
One friend gone, but the world still looks ok.
I walk to the biology labs, not in search of more gossip but for actual work reasons. I don’t find the person I am looking for but I do find some biologists huddled, talking. I say have you heard and they list off 5 names none of which are the person I know.
6 friends gone, this is seriously fucked.
We talk for a bit and then I decided I have to bring this information back. I go to my boss and tell her what I have found out. Its like trying to tell someone a close relative has died. Her face turns white.
Denial.
Another co-worker passes through. We drop the news on him. More “your shiting me”. More denial. I say “this is what I have heard” One of the victims walks by.
Us: “How are you?”
Him: “Fine fine”
He leaves, we go “no way your information has got to be off”. I agree, its just to crazy, nonsensical even.
The rest of the day you walk into ppl in the hall and the common “hello” response is “i’m still here”. There is a sense of a black cloud that is roaming the halls, devouring ppl at will. You are afraid to go and talk to ppl you havent seen yet for fear that they me tagged as well. At this point we have no idea how high the number will go. When will the beast be full? Is it already and we just dont know it? Is it merely taking a coffee break?
A second confirmation on the earlier names come through, along with is a small piece of wellbeing that beast has finished. Those that have been let go all know by now. There is no work getting done today.
I felt like I was on borrowed time. The discussion turns to the monsters logic and its raison d’existence. We are all zombies. We are all scientists, but our logic gates are in full feedback loop, “Does not compute”. Now that we know that the carnage is mostly done here what about other places. You dont want to call your friends in other buildings, even though you hope that missed it too you know that the chances are slim. The reports from over their are even more grim. Whole areas are wiped out, not just a few select ppl like here.
Its only 11:15. The last hour moved slower then a trans atlantic ice flow. Much like said ice flow, the information captured in that hour was more then one could fully comprehend.
I want to set the clocks ahead. Get it to 1pm and get it over with.
More hours pass. No more bad news, no real progress on the logic front.
Lots of cussing.
Lots of “whoaa” and sighing.
You avoid the confirmed vicims for fear of the unknown, and for respect of the dead. You have no idea what to say anyway, and they may not want to see the cruel reminder of what they had just hours ago.
Unlike even a cheap horror film, there was not even a semblance of logic. The beast’s creation was discussed no further than “lack of interests in a few theraputic areas”, its killing menatliy was not discussed at all. The victims were not slackers, not only upper management, not only worker bees. Not only the aged, not only the young.
200 in all. Its hard not to classify. Survivors and victims only separated by what seems dumb luck. While in there presence you are almost ashamed to still have a job, but also very thankful to not have to go home and break the news.